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1. Blonde: "What does IDK mean?"
Brunette: "I don't know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
2. Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don't wake up the sleeping pills.
3. How do you keep a blonde busy?
Write "flip" on both sides of a sheet of paper.
4. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day?
Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says "lather, rinse, repeat."
5. Why did the blonde get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said it was for "2 to 4 years."
6. What did the blonde say after glimpsing a box of Cheerios?
"OMG! Donut seeds!"
7. What's every blonde's dream in life?
To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet.
8. How do you know if a blonde's been using your computer?
You'll find Wite Out all over the screen.
9. Why do blondes love boob jobs?
It's really the only job they're qualified for.
10. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"I wonder if it's mine."
11. Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?
Because they say "concentrate."
12. Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender?
She was trying to make apple juice.
13. What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
They both swallow a lot of sea men (aka semen).
14. How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
15. Why don't blondes talk during sex?
Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers.
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I am an Equal Opportunity Insulter and as you read all this wonderful insight, please remember
"We Are All the Same!"
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